T and I are crushing on Helena Fitzgerald (what a terrific writer’s name, hey?!) in a big, big way. It’s a crush of the highest order — she’s a feminist, intellectual, and writer after our own sod hearts. Tonight, she not only reminded me to listen to more Patti Smith, and then brought on this very much-needed kick to the head:
Masochism is a kind of self-annihilating narcissism. Unremitting narcissism is a kind of masochism as well; the narcissist denies him or herself the relief, the gratification, of unselfconsciousness, of getting up and walking away from the mirror. Finally, when understood simply in terms of sexual experimentation, masochism is someone choosing to experience pain for the purpose of entertainment. There it’s sexual entertainment. When applied to our experience of the internet, it’s emotional entertainment. We hurt ourselves in the hope that it will be interesting. One’s own pain rarely fails to hold one’s own interest. If the internet is causing you emotional pain, then there’s something on the internet tonight.
This year I’m trying to grow up in the right ways, which means cutting certain things out.